Because I have been given so much love I felt that I had so much love to give. Not just to a female but in terms of volunteering, being a better friend, and being a better person. I felt that I had accomplished these goals by not thinking of myself but just giving back to others and loving those who I didn’t know too well. Despite giving back and being fulfilled and many aspects of life I wanted soo bad to have a girlfriend. I have always admired my parents by the way they are toward one another and I have seen love bless the life of my sister and now I wanted to fall in love. So I actively searched to find someone. I would go to different places to try to meet women and I even tried the online dating scene (I would advise people not to try this hehe). I would have a couple of dates here and there but nothing worthy of pursuing. Everything just seemed the same. No one I met made my heart jump out of my chest and I was beginning to feel that those emotions were things of fairy tales. You know how some people tell you if you look for love you will not find it and when you don’t you will? I guess there is some truth to this but I just could not drop looking for someone. At the same time I always felt that things will just happen…let me rephrase that God will only take you so far and put you in the right place then God will help those who help themselves. So things continued how they were and I knew my priorities were school and work. One of my first days at work this semester entered a beautiful student teacher. I was taken back on how beautiful she was and I wanted to talk to her and get to know her. So I made my presence felt. I tried showing up at places throughout school where she was and showed her my best smile when I was around her. She seemed super cool and was really easy to talk to. One day I bought her a paleta from the ice cream man and gave it to her at the end of school.
(Limon Paleta as shown)How she reacted to the gift I gave her made me think she might be into me. She would wait for me to walk her to her car at the end of her day and seemed to look for me as I looked for her. Things seemed to headed down the potential relationship path but then she dropped the “I see you as a friend” line. At the same time she kinda pushed me away telling me not to look for her at school and in a way, leave her alone. This was when confusion and frustration set in. I thought things were going good? Why was she being like this with me? Clearly she knew I liked her and her attitude seemed to be receptive toward me before. Stupid girls…what do they want? Why do they send mixed signals? If you don’t want me to see and talk to you well then good bye! Have a nice life! I was getting the point and I was beginning to let go and give up. One night I talked with her and she let me into a secret. After she told me I understood why she really didn’t need or want anyone. I needed to hear that because I wanted to show her that there were real people out there… People who care about others lives and I would be the most real person she met. So things continued as they were in a cautious acquaintance. I continued showin
g interest in her but things didn’t take off as I wish they did but I understood why. Then in one bold and daring move I performed my actions of FCW! FCW is the event of why we exist and God is the reason we exist today. God did not allow me to give up even when she was so unresponsive toward my actions. That is why she gave me a chance. God did not let me quit! God is who gives me strength to love her and continue to be with her. Toward the end of her student teaching I was there for her even more but this time we were a couple. People knew it! They could see the joy radiate from our smiles and see our hearts jump out of our chests. I would drive her to school almost everyday and it brought so much joy to me in the mornings. In anything she encountered I stood by her side and will continue to do so. I will help her in anyway I can and show her how much I love her everyday. We do not know God’s plan but sometimes we can speculate. I believe that God put me at Westwood to meet her. I believe I went back to school to meet her. God knew that I had great love to give and that is why he made me wait. He made me wait for her…Carla Gonzalez…the woman that needed her great love at her most darkest hour. I will never let her fall. I love you Carla.
This is where Carla sat during the semester. Here I would leave notes and small gifts for her. I worshiped this area because it was the place my love sat. I miss her sometimes when she is not here. I would go get a peek at her when I was not busy or when I just need to see her. When she volunteered at Dream Academy I would have a mobile radio ready so when she needed me she could call to me. I ran so fast when she called me. Thank you God for placing Carla & I at Westwood and thank you for letting us fall in LOVE!
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